I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
