Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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