Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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