you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Sext me about skeletons
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
