Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
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