Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
