i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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