i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
