i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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