i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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