I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
