The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
