if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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