a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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