you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
