Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize