I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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