you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
