definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
