U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Randomize
