and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
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