thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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