Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
