People with herpes should wear stickers.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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