why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
You may now shotgun with the bride
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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