She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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