Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Man, jail baloney is awful.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
