the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize