you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
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Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
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I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
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