Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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