Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
