you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
