if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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