just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
