I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
two words...techno handjob
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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