Nicole vs. Life
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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