Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
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