are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
