I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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