Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
