She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
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