I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
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And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
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it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
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