I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
