My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
