Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
