i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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