she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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