I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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