There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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