Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
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Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
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This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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