You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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