I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize
