Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
