i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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