Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
She's the barista slut.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
That accounts for only three of the penises
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
