found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
