In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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