Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
