So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
