well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
