erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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